Imagine theze antireform arguments are being hurled forth by the worldz most respected authority on the English language. Hiz perfectly nerdly appearance reprezents the ultimate champion against this evil threat to the mother tongue. Shoudnt we be scared? How can our lowly level uv academic acheivment possibly prevail against this mighty warrior?
PULL !
What about etymology? English is a beautiful language with a rich and diverse heritage derived from a variety of sources. The history and root meaning of words can be found in their spelling. If we switch to some childish phonetic system, all that will be lost.BOOM ! GU ? Since the professor must know that anyone who carez to can go to the library and find countless books on the history of language that will tell them everything they ever wanted to know about where the wordz came from AND there is such a huge mountain of stuff already written in traditional English that it will be around longer than our civilization, I can only conclude that he iz worried that some sort of space/time warp iz going to chew up the planet and send chunks of it into some alternate universe where the beingz dont speak English, but Latin, Greek and whatever other languagez English wuz cobbled together from. Hiz reazoning iz that we must produce az much liturature az possible in traditional English in order to provide theze beingz with an up-to-the-last-minute window into our culture.
So everybody who writes in English haz to spend their time producing hundredz of superfluous letters per page just on the chance that some future 'etymologist' may find the last English writingz to survive this apocalypse (your great grandson'z mortgage application, for example) and be able to figure out what it sez.
Dont Bogart that joint, Prof!
I had a couple more shots ready for that wun, but I think it started falling apart wen it left the catapult.
Maybe the clay wuz over baked, like the professor!
PULL !
There are many dialects of English. If you make a phonetic system, which one of them will you choose for the spelling? Because the current spellings arent clearly linked to pronunciation, they allow people with completely different dialects to understand each others writing even if they cant understand their speech.
BOOM ! So, wut dialect do the lexicograferz (dictionary writerz) chooze for their pronounciation keyz now? Seemz the problem haz been here all along.
BOOM ! The main reazon we have so many dialects iz becauze the spelling duznt clearly reprezent the pronunciation. When groups of people are isolated from the main population for generationz, the people born there have nothing to go by but wut they hear. (hardly anybody payz attention to dictionary pronunciation keyz) A phonetic system can have a standard spelling and still allow people to spell az they speak when they wish to. This way everyone will learn how to pronounce wordz correctly when they read them rather than spending years pronouncing them the indestinct or warped way they 1st heard mommy say them. Dictionaries can also include many uv the dialect variationz for each word and be published in different dialects with the standard spellingz also included. This way, it will be eazy to find wordz that hav only been heard in spite uv being unfamiliar with a dialect.
BOOM ! The total saturation of radio, TV and recorded media from America has made it unlikely that anyone who speaks any dialect uv English woudnt understand riting based on the clear, unambiguous speech of an American network newz anchor. There are no more isolated communitiez.
"I'm Dan Rather. I'm Leslie Stahl. I'm Floyd Robertson. I'm Ed Bradley. We Dont care where on earth you are; if you speak English, you can understand us !"
Got plenty uv ammo ! Lets turn this wun to dust!
BOOM ! Open a dictionary to any paje. You will see that many uv the wordz hav multiple definitionz. This iz exactly the same az having different wordz with the same spelling and pronunciation.
BOOM ! This impliez that its not possible to determine the meaning of wordz thru their context in a sentence. We do this all the time in normal conversation AND wen reading. Not only are there bunchez uv concepts that share the same spelling and pronounciation, but even more confusing, spelled the same yet pronounced differently! Any argument that is based on the idea that grafikly recording speech cant work failz to take the intelligence & language skills uv ordinary people into account.
BOOM ! This statement iz basicly postulating that: A = B and B = C, but if A = C it will cauze A & C to not equal B anymore. ( A=pronounciation. B=meaning. C=spelling ). Try to sneak that past your algebra teacher.
BOOM ! It iz saying that our vocabulary iz a mess, so the spelling must be a mess to counteract the problem.
BOOM ! It ignorez the fluid nature uv our language. Nothing about our language changes more rapidly than the vocabulary. The basic vocabulary may be sumwut stable, but the constant torrent uv slang, imports and new tek wordz and frazez makes any notion uv a consistent link between meaning and spelling very unreliable. In fact, a consistent letter to sound relation may be the only thing that can be relied on to remain intact for more than a few centuriez .
The prof aint looking so good now. Hiz armor uv academic credentialz haz been fed to the shredder. Lets move on to the next paje to see the most difficult targets.
( LaST UPDAT APRL 15 2007 )